Bedtime Battles.

I moved M from his crib to a toddler bed when he was about 18  months old, I know this is kind of young, but he could get out of the crib anyway, and I needed to free up the crib for P, who was due to arrive a month before M turned two. For the first week it worked ok. Then he started getting up and I could not get him to stay in bed. It became a nightly battle.

I tried everything. I tried spanking. I tried screaming. I tried taking him back to bed over and over. I tried sitting with him till he went to sleep. nothing worked. As soon as he was in bed he would pop out again. or he would stay on his bed and jump and yell and throw things at L on the other side of the room. This went on for a year. I was at my wits end. I hated bedtime and the battle it had become. I longed for the idyllic picture book bedtime where the mother tucks in the children and reads to them and kisses them goodnight and then they go to sleep.

One day I was talking to a friend about it, and something she said reminded me of how we deal with mealtime battles. When M rejects his food, I have a very simple strategy that works with him every time, with no fight. I just take away the food he does not want an set it on the other side of the table. He thinks about it for a minute or two and decides that he wants it after all. I had often wished I could apply this concept to bedtime, but I didn't know how. Now I had a seed of a plan.

When he refused to go to bed I did not force the issue. Instead I took away his bed, so to speak. I said, "If you do not want to go to bed, you can sit by the frige" and I put a chair there for him to sit in. He did not go to bed, so I sat him in the chair. There was still a battle, but the battle was no longer the bed. I made him stay in the chair, and he could escape this battle honorably by deciding to go to his bed. He fought valiantly for the first few nights, trying to sneak off the chair and run and play, but I stuck with it. After about a week, he decided that it was not worth the battle. Now most nights I do not even need to get the chair out, because he goes to bed on his own and actually stays there. I was prepared to give it two weeks before giving up if it didn't work, but it only took only one.

Will this work for your child? I couldn't say. What will work is to know your child. Study his ways. what does he respond to in other situations? Find a way to work with him, to make a way for you both to win.

Charades

Everybody building walls
Everybody wearing masks.
Everyone pretending
Everything's ok

Everybody Hurting
Everybody  hiding
Everybody too afraid
What someone else might say

No one sees another's hurts
No one knows another's needs
Everybody thinking
Everyones ok

We could help each other heal
We could help each other grow
But the masks and walls are
In our way

Masks hold in the hurt
Walls keep out the love
Everybody's dying
Day by day

Who will take their mask off?
Who will tear their walls down?
Who will let the world know
"I'm not ok"

Everybody reaching out
Everybody reaching back
Everybody sharing
Every day

Everybody being real
Everybody being raw
Everybody giving grace
Every way

No more hiding
Where we're hurting
Everybody loving
Anyway

Photo scavenger hunt.

I think it would be fun to have a photo scavenger hunt at an event, especially something like a family reunion or camping trip. Every player would need a camera of some kind, even a cell phone camera would do. and you would need a list of things to look for and catch on film. (oops we don't use film anymore. How do you translate that expression into the digital age?) Here are some ideas.

• someone eating watermelon
• someone sleeping
• someone laughing
• someone with a messy face
• someone playing a game
• someone climbing a tree
• someone holding a baby
• someone serving food
• someone playing with fire
• someone in the water
• someone cooking something
• someone wearing yellow
• someone going barefoot
• someone crying
• someone taking a picture
• someone kissing someone
• someone deep in thought
• someone hiding from the camera

or you could come up with a list of funny captions and see what kind of pictures people can come up with to go with them. I was going to make a list of possible captions, but I can't think of any right now, so instead how about you leave suggestions in the comments? You will? Awesome. 

You could have a prize for the first one to get all the pictures on the list (or the one who gets the most), or you could just do it for fun and the winner gets bragging rights. If you go the caption rout, you could vote at the end for the pest picture for each caption. If all the participants are on facebook you could set up a group for the event and have people post their pics there as they go whenever they get the chance. (assuming there is internet access where you are) 

I have not had the opportunity to try this yet, but it seems like it could be a lot of fun if it was done right.

song for my babies

You're just a baby for a while.
You won't be little very long.
so I will try to make you smile,
and sing you little baby songs.

I will keep you close
I will hold you tight.
never let you go,
till the time is right.
When you spread your wings,
On the verge of flight
I will fly with you
till the time is right.

So many things that are so new.
You'll want to try them on your own.
So I will wait until you're through
but never leave you all alone.

I will keep you close
I will hold you tight.
never let you go,
till the time is right.
When you spread your wings,
On the verge of flight
I will let you go,
But I'll keep in sight.

And when you've tasted of success
and when your confidence has grown
Then may I never second guess
that you can do it on your own.

I will keep you close
I will hold you tight.
never let you go,
till the time is right.
When you spread your wings,
On the verge of flight
I will let you go,
I will watch you fly!

Then I will hold you in my heart
although no longer in my arms
And even though we are apart,
I'll pray you never come to harm

I will watch you go
as your dreams take flight.
I will let you go,
for the time is right.
And my heart will swell,
and my eyes will well
I can not say no,
You were meant to fly!

Diaper designing!

My favorite part of any project is the design phase. I love refining an idea and turning it into a doable project, Laying out a pattern, making a prototype, noting where the flaws are and reworking it until it is just right. that whole process is just incredibly fulfilling to me. When I am designing I feel like I am doing what I was born to do.

Right now I am designing my own unique diaper pattern. I have made three versions of the diaper, all are usable, and will stay in my stash and be used, but they have some flaws, which I am working on resolving. Once I get the kinks worked out I plan to make a set for a friend who is expecting and is interested in cloth diapering. then I might try selling some.

If you use cloth diapers, what do you prefer? fitteds and covers, pockets, lay/snap in inserts, or all in ones? The pattern I am making could be used to make any of those options, I wanted to go with the pockets but I am having a little issue there, so I may try a different rout. or I could do all of the above, once I get the kinks worked out of the pocket style. When I get around to it I will take pictures of the diapers and post them. maybe. I plan to anyway.

If anybody ever reads this, I would love to hear from you in the comments. Is there something that when you do it you feel completely fulfilled? what is it?

the STUFF Monster

I have a stuff problem. Stuff everywhere. Too much stuff and not enough everywhere. It drives me crazy. I can't stand it! Some days I want to get a bulldozer and just bury it all and start over. But of course that is not going to happen. We need the house to live in and the bulldozer would kind of mess that up. so I have to try to tame the stuff monster another way. so I go to throw all the stuff in bags and toss it out by the curb for the garbage truck. But wait! here in the stuff is something special, I can't throw that out, and here is something else I like. and I can't get rid of THIS! ...and so I face the stuff monster's most fearsome aspect. It is made of things I want to keep. Collectively I see them as the hated clutter of stuff, but individually I find that I like my stuff. so on it goes. Someday I will tame the stuff monster. I will not give up! I shall persevere! I will find new homes for the stuff I do not need. I will throw away the things that really are trash. I thin out the kids toys, and their cloths and my clothes and the dishes and gadgets in the kitchen, and MAYBE even my sewing and craft stash, until we have just what we need and have space for, and no more. I am determined to do this, but I expect it will take a very long time. I might not accomplish it till around the time the kids graduate from high school, But I WILL defeat the stuff monster! I WILL!

Mother's Day

Well, today is Mother's day. So I guess it deserves some kind of a post. This morning I did not make breakfast. I did get everyone dressed, well I picked out their clothes anyway, I actually only dressed the baby. They all gave me gifts (with daddy's help) P gave me a bag of chocolates, M gave me a box of mixed wildflower seeds, and L gave me something I have wanted for a long time, and had NO idea I would ever get. I had dropped some pretty big hints, but I did not really expect that it was a reasonable thing to be able to afford. L gave me a sapphire necklace. I love sapphire. It's my favorite gemstone. Noi, it is not my birthstone, but I have never been particularly drawn to garnet. I think Birthstones are kind of dumb. Why should we be assigned a random gemstone that we may not even like? so anyway I love my gifts. Thanks Daddy!
We got breakfast at McDonalds on the way to church. After church we went to my mom's for lunch. then we went out and played outside with cameras and kids in Grandma's gardens. Grandma was feeding the kids strawberries. Little P had two strawberries that he kept moving from my right hand to my left hand and back again. It was really funny. maybe later I can get some of the pictures we took from those who had cameras and put some of the pictures on this post.

Mental Chaos

It all started when my uncle offered to help pay for airline tickets, or maybe it started when my brother got engaged, or maybe it was last thanksgiving when he met the love of his life. or maybe it started a long time before that when he moved to Hawaii, but anyway, My brother is getting married and the wedding is in Hawaii, and airfare is outrageous.

I wanted to go. I wanted to bring the kids, but that was too expensive. I looked at ticket prices and decided I could not make it. Then my uncle generously said he had some money set aside to help people get there. L and M could stay home with their daddy while he takes his vacation, and I could go with just little P in my lap. It was all but settled. But I felt no peace about that decision. My heart was in turmoil over the separation from my kids, and the fact that this would mean no family vacation this year.

Then my husband found out he could not get that week off anyway. So I figured out the cheapest price to get us all there and presented it to my uncle saying, "This is the only way I can go. If it is too much I will stay home and it's no problem." So he said we would wait till everyone else was booked and see if there was enough for us. It looked like there would be, but one sister had to wait till she could talk to some professors to find out her schedule before she could book her tickets, and then while we were waiting my tickets went up. Now I do not think I can go at all, unless by some miracle they come back down again which is hardly likely.

I am all mixed up inside. I keep starting to get a little excited at the prospect of the trip, then it is gone, can't happen, then It might be, then it is not. I just feel dizzy inside. I am ready to KNOW, one way or the other, Whether or not this is going to happen. Right now I am pretty sure it won't. Tickets don't come back down do they? but I am afraid to get myself used to the idea of NOT going, because as soon as I do something will change again! Aaaaaagh! OK, sorry folks, just needed to vent. If you read this and you are one of the people involved, please understand I am not ranting against you or anyone, just the frustration of circumstances that are keeping me all in a whirl.

Edit-
Well, we found something that almost worked, but it was on the wrong island. the island with free housing, but not the island with the wedding. and the inter island tickets made it too much in the end. So, I am not going. I am ok with that. but I have this weird feeling that someone is going to try to come up with a way to get me there just as soon as I get comfortable with the idea that I am staying here. I am sure it will be a beautiful wedding and maybe someone will bring a laptop, and I can "be there" on skype or something.

Loss

Today we found L's hamster Luki dead in her cage. I don't know why she died, she was about a year and a half old.her sister Snuggers died some time last year. Snuggers was mean and bit any chance she got so we were not very sad when she died. Luki was always sweet, and got handled a lot more. She was loved, so this feels more like a real loss.

 M and P are not old enough to really understand about death, so I waited till I had them both down for a nap and L and I took Luki out of her cage and wrapped her in a strip of flannel from my fabric stash. Then I let L pick a place in the yard to bury her and we dug a small hole together. She told Luki Goodbye, and I placed her in the hole. then we filled the hole with dirt and found a nice sized rock to put on top. I wrote her name on the rock along with the words Rest in Peace, and the year she was born and the year she died. Then we surrounded the little grave with  flowers L picked from the yard. She collected some sticks and I placed them around the little grave and I picked a few forget me nots and some collumbine from my flowerbed to place right in front of the stone. We took a few pictures, and then came inside.

L has been wanting to get a cat for some time. I told her we could not have a cat because it would eat Luki. Now that Luki is gone she is already asking about getting a cat.

Giveaway suggestions

Ok I think I have decided When to do the giveaway, now I just need to decide WHAT to give away. Since I will be providing the prize, It should be something inexpensive. Something I can make or something I have around the house that I do not need, but it should be something people will want to win. It also needs to be lightweight so it will not be expensive to ship. Please feel free to offer suggestions in the comments.

If you don't know what a rafflecopter giveaway is, I will explain briefly.

Rafflecopter is a widget that collects contest entries and selects a random winner. Usually the entries are earned by liking Facebook pages, following on twitter or Pinterest, following blogs, signing up for email updates, or commenting on blog posts. This one will not be like that. I want to do this just for fun. I may have one twitter follow (me) and one blog comment entry, but mostly I want this to be silly fun things. Things anyone can do. Things that are fun, or challenging, or just silly. Things that are healthy, or just make you happy, or make someone else happy. I would love to have LOTS of options, and you just do the ones you want to, as many or as few as you like, some can be done every day, some can only be used once. I have lots of ideas, but I would love more. Please post your ideas in the comments!

Signing up for Kindergarten.

Today I took L to sign up for Kindergarten. I was not sure what to expect, or even if she needed to come with me, It turned out I was just filling out some forms today and she could have stayed with grandma and the boys, but it was nice to have some time with just her. I am excited for her, because I know she will love school, but I am also nervous because I am not really sure what is expected of me in this new role. I have never been the parent of a school aged child before, and having been home schooled myself, I did not get to see that role modeled for me growing up. I guess I will just have to dive in and figure it out as I go along. It's going to be a great adventure!

My First Blog Post Ever

Well here I am pretending to be a blogger.  We both know that I am not good at sticking to anything for more than a week, so we will see how long it lasts. Anyway my main reason for starting this is really rather silly. I want to do a rafflecopter giveaway. One with fun silly entries like pet a dog or hug someone or plant a flower or walk a mile or paint your fingernails or... well you get the idea. I have no idea what the prize will be yet, so if anyone reads this and wants to offer suggestions for entries or for a prize feel free to share your ideas in the comments.